Thursday, June 25, 2009

Running, Running, Running

Today was the first day I ran for 30 minutes straight since I've been getting back to working out. Because, yes, my Mummy Tummy Watch is still very much on. There were a few amazing songs on my iPod shuffle, particularly Sheryl Crow's "Out of Our Heads" (If we could only get out of our heads... and into our hearts...) that pushed me. I even sprinted at the end. Waving to the mailman as I ran my way down the street. My face flushed and sweaty. My cheeks bouncy and red.

I came home to run somewhere else. Andy's kids (he's a teacher) were graduating today and he wanted us to come into the city to join in the celebration. Apparently the girls were hell-bent on seeing baby girl. It was a lovely gesture. A short visit though. A quick meet and greet.

Here's the thing. Jake was busy in his room playing Lego's/dentist/Star Wars. What does this mean? Han Solo was getting his teeth cleaned. Most importantly, Jake was finally playing by himself after four straight days of serious adult entertainment.

Elke was sucking on her Whoozit. Ali, my babysitter, was here. Would have been a great time to work and write. Download material into new Macbook. Shop for a bathing suit online (because God only knows I don't want to try one on in a store).

I knew about this graduation for weeks. But now, it just seemed so difficult to get to. Too many schedules to juggle. To many people to please. And look, finally how happy is everyone playing by themselves.

I called Andy to see how important our presence really was.

"So you want us to come in for about a half an hour?" I asked. (Takes 30-45 minutes to get to Chelsea, the neighborhood in Manhattan where he works. Which meant we'd drive for an hour to an hour and a half to stay for 30 minutes.)

"We're going out for tapas afterwards - me and some other teachers. Not sure if Jake wants to sit with a bunch of adults."

"Is there a better time to come in?"

"Don't worry about it, hon," he said. "It's too much."

Oh, Lord. I did it. Don't worry about it = disappointed.

Since last week I've been running. Andy was away in Kansas at a special education conference for five days. Running four times to dog hospital down the Jersey Shore for Daisy's surgery. Running to Long Island for Father's Day. Running to Jake's school for last day of class parties and saying good-bye to pre-k. Next day running with Elke back and forth for Jake's "move up" day ceremony when he gets to meet new teacher for next year.

We've all had those weeks. We've all had those months. Just so much running. Did I mention the UTI and the stomach bug that came simultaneously at the beginning of the week?

And then to think that I need to run to clear my head of all the friggin' running. (If we could only get out of our heads...) When do I get to stop?

So I felt guilty. Andy's a great teacher. The kind that walks over the Brooklyn Bridge with kids just to talk. The kind who takes kids to see Spiderman 3 just because.

I wanted him to have his family's support on graduation day. Especially since these kids all gave the baby so many presents. Teething rings. Posters. Toys. Cards. He's proud of his little girl.

I jumped in the shower, dragged Jake away from giving Han Solo a root canal and got in the car. Texted Andy, "We're on the way in." Zoomed to the highway.

"Come tomorrow," he said when he called back. "I've got kids for one more day. You'll come into the school. It'll be a great distraction. Then the four of us will go out for lunch."

"Are you sure?"

"You've been doing a lot of running around. I totally understand."

So I turned around. Dropped children to babysitter who took them to the park.

I found my hour. No longer running.



  1. I am getting into shape too. I want to be in the best shape possible for when I am pregnant again.
    I'm just walking right now, pushing babies in the stroller for half hour at the preschool- we are allowed to take them out on walks. ANd eating healllthy. Except my soy doubleshots :)

  2. maggie - you are amazing. seriously... after all you went through and you're all ready out there. try the sheryl crow song that i talked about when you're walking. it's wonderful! -hk


Blog Widget by LinkWithin